Sunday, October 1st, 2017
Home, the day before going into the hospital for Caesarean section to give birth to our little baby Libra chicken girl.
Not sure if everyone (Baby, Greg & me) in our family is ready for this, yet it is happening tomorrow. Even both my wrists hurt, thought I'd write something, as a brief record of my mood.
We are so close to the expected due date (on October 8th 2017), yet Baby girl is stubbern as her parents (or even more so than her parents?!), she's in breech position since the hospital found out on September 8th 2017, a month before the due date. This last month has been quite a jounery itself. There had been several attemps to try to turn Baby yet she's just so comfy staying head up and bum down...
This then resulted in a Caesarean birth, as the hospital would prefer. And this, of course, threw out what Greg and I visioned about a natural birth. During these few weeks, my mind and mood had been up and down beacuse of the unknown. There was some hope that Baby would turn herself sometime before the last minute. Yet at the same time I was so drained with the idea of not knowing which position she'd be in the last minute. I didn't know how to prepare my mind and body for it... Several times I just burst out crying for the tiniest thing that seemed not even related and left Greg in a situation that I felt sorry for. Then I felt quilty for not remaining a calm mood, worried that Baby sensed my shaky mood...
During these few weeks, we also tried TCM method, using the moxa stick to create the heat to some specific points in order to make Baby move herself. After moxa plus two attemps of ECV (Ecternal Cephalic Version) with 1 doctor on Tuesday, Sepetmber 19th and 2 doctors on Friday, September 22nd in the hospital, we were told that they were going to book us in for Caesarean as soon as possible. The following week, I was then nervously expecting a phone call from the hospital with THE date while we still had to go into the hospital for fetal monitoring on Monday (Sepetmebr 25th) and Thursday (September 28th) due to Baby's size in the smaller scale! (And they forgot to tell us about this when they did the ultrasound scan on the same day they found out Baby in breech...)
Meanwhile, my wrists had been aching for more than a week. I tried several methods in the hope of getting better yet just didn't work. This actually pushed me to be leaning towards more to Caesarean birth. Becuase I just didn't think I'm going to be able to use my wrists to hold onto something or to be on my fours to have a vaginal birth... And still now I am a bit worried that they won't get better soon enough after giving birth. How am I gonna hold my baby girl?
Even Greg and I knew that there's big chance we'll have to go through Caesarean, we were hoping to have the date as close to the expected due date as possible. So when I got the phone call while waiting to have the CTG monitoring in the hospital on Thursday (September 28th), I felt like I was being sentenced! The told me the only available slot is Monday (October 2nd) morning! It's much earlier than we thought it'd be! Greg walked in to the waiting room while I was on the phone. When I told him, I think he was in shock with the date being so early, too! Becuase we had not received the call for the whole week, till lunch time on Thursday, we thought it'd be later than Wednesday (October 4th).
Yet there is no room for negotiating, so we had no choice but said yes to the date. Thus I'm here quietly staying at home the day before the surgery. I guess to some degree, I am excited and I look forward to seeing our baby girl tomorrow. Really curious about what she looks like, the colours of her hair, her eyes and her skin, her weight and her height. I know that due to my small size, she has not had a lot of room to grow big and to move around. Hopefully tomorrow she will come to this world with a smile abd enjoy all the space around her!
There are so many things and experiences that I'd never had before in my life due to this pregnancy, I would like to memorise them all. It is indeed a very unique experience and I cherish most moments. Hopefully there will be time for me to write something in the blog after Baby is born.